"A man has to have goals - for a day, for a lifetime - and that was mine, to have people say, 'There goes Ted Williams, the greatest hitter who ever lived.'"
- Ted Williams
And people still say that. He missed 4 1/2 years due to serving in both WWII and the Korean War and still managed to hit 521 homeruns. He batted .344 in his career, won two MVPs , finished second four times, hit a homerun in his last at bat in Fenway Park, and is the last man to bat .400 in a season. If he's not the best hitter of all time, he's second best behind Babe Ruth.
He was a fighter pilot in the wars and was shot down in the Korean War. He also was a world class fisherman, and quietly did a lot of work for the Jimmy Fund, a children's charity.
On the other hand, by all accounts, he was a lousy husband and father, a real horse's ass whenever he was criticized, and petty.
But people remember him and will continue to remember him long after he's gone. (He passed away in 2002).
Aside from Melissa, and my parents, will anyone remember me ten years from now? I suppose Joe and my sisters will, but will Jack? He's so young, that he'll probably all but forget I was here. I'd like to think that other people would remember me, but I really don't know if I've had that kind of impact, except maybe in a "oh yeah, he was a good guy too" sort of way. I never made it to the U.S. Supreme Court, which was always one of my primary goals. Did I ever make a positive difference in my client's lives? In my children's lives (since I am presumably "moving on up" in the next year or so and they are so young)?
In short, if you leave the planet and no one remembers you, were you here at all?
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16 comments:
I know you are forgetful lately, so let me remind you just how good of a memory Jack has...he still brings up Koda and Michael for crying out loud!
You will be remembered. Who could forget the only person in DM to win Time Magazine's person of the year twice?
- Megan
OK. You finally got me to be serious. I'm the guy who still keeps a couple of the Christmas presents you gave me more than 20 years ago. Yes, I'll remember you.
Your entire extended famliy will remember you. Your children will remember you and we will help them.
You may not have made it to the US Supreme Court, but you are in the annals of the Iowa Supreme Court forever.
And I do believe in that "Communion of Saints" stuff they taught us. A few years from now, I will be talking to you and all the rest of our family saints in heaven for some heavy duty help especially when one of my sons is in harm's way in a war zone. I believe you will be with your wife and children and with the rest of us as we work to love and care for each other and you will continue to be a big part of that. Plan on doing lots of work on this in the years to come!
the uncle
My Dad split when I was young (left, and moved far away). Despite the absence, the few years he was around had a profound impact on my personality. My religious beliefs, philosophy, sense of humor, and even my penchant for picking fights with powerful people, are all inherited from my Dad, I was actually annoyed when people who knew him kept pointing this out as I grew up (fortunately I did not inherit his views on marriage and parental responsibilty -- he and Ted Williams would get along). Don't for a second think you will not be remembered or that you will have no impact.
I won't forget you. As I told you, you have taught me so much. You are an inspiration to me. As for Jack, I will do whatever I can to make sure your memory stays fresh in his mind, and I am sure I will not be the only one.
Art
Tommy,
regarding the boys anyway - you have already left more of a mark on both of them than you know.
I remember sitting for them, years ago, when you and Melissa were on vacation. I think that Megan and I were tag-team sitting - this was at the house by Valley. I remember getting the boys to bed and thinking about, well, how intimidating you guys are. The amount of love in your family and the way you teach those boys to be respectful and irreverant at the same time, well. The ways you encourage, the ways you discipline, all of it. I am and have always been struck at what wonderful parents you and Melissa are. As I prepare to get married and (eventually) start my own family, I know I will be relying on things I've learned from you. So there: you've not only impacted your own kids, but also the ones that I will someday have.
plus, without you, how would I know all the words to all those Who and Pink Floyd songs?
Tom,
I will remember you. I realize that may not count as much but I figured I should let you know. I am just your cousin but I am so impressed by your courage (I know you don’t like this adjective but that is just too bad because I think it is very appropriate) and I am also very impressed by your writing skills. I have throughly enjoyed reading your blog and am convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that Joe and Jack (along with many others) will not only remember you but will memorialize you. My daughter (Sami) is one year older than Jack and I really believe that she would remember me if I died when she was his age. Further my son (Ben) is only 5 and I think he would remember me if I died today too (maybe I am just full of myself). I strongly believe that you are underestimating the influence and power you have had in your children’s lives. I have no doubt that they will both remember you until the day you meet them again in heaven.
I will miss you when you are gone and know that your wife, children, parents, sisters and cousins will be heartbroken. Finally, I have a favor to ask of you. Please tell my Dad how much I love him and miss him if you see him….
Much Love,
Debbie Schieffelin
Tom,
I just wanted to take a moment to let you know how that you have had an impact on more people than your realize.
Professionally, one of the many things I admire about you is that you became an attorney because of your passion for the law. Many of your colleagues would agree and often times many called upon YOU to assist with cases or bounce things off of you. I have been told by many that they miss that.
An example of what you did to make a difference, I distinctly remember one Christmas eve you came home from court and had just gotten 4 kids out of foster care and returned to their mother whom had been falsely accused of things. I bet that mother each year thinks about you and is thankful she had someone believe in her.
You were a mentor to all of your clerks, and if I remember correctly there are some whom still get together with you and introduce you as their mentor.
Regarding our children. They will not forget you, you are such a wonderful Dad, since they could talk you have talked to them like little adults and they both just soak words that you say in. For Joe, he looks, walks, talks and act like you and someday when he asks about you, I will say look in the mirror you are your father and how lucky are you. He has your tenderness and intelligence.
Jack's memory is so strong and I promise you that he will also NEVER forget you. Jack loves to argue points into the ground (does that sound like someone?), he carries a picture in his backpack of the two of you and often shows it to his teachers. He also tells his teachers that his Dad is the smartest and probaly knows more than them!! He has your passion for things and fortitude. He absolutely adores you.
For me, I also will never forget you and the thought of losing you numbs me. I wonder how I will get through each day,I will because of the kids and because of your strength and it will always be with me. I know that each day is precious right now especially after yesterday, and I want you to know that even if we are cut short on our life together here we will have eternity together.
I am a Streisand fan (to fellow readers, my musical acumen is not even near my husbands and often subject to much humor in our household and now catching on with our kids) the song "Somewhere"..."Someday they'll be a place for us, someday a time and a place for us,a place to love, a place to share....someday,somewhere...
Love
ME
I am a friend of Stephanie's in Chicago, and I have to tell you that, ever since she told me about your blog, I have been reading it regularly (usually when I'm supposed to be working). Your candor and wit in the face of illness and loss has affected me deeply, and I, for one, will remember you. You and your family are in my prayers.
Amy
Just so everybody doesn't think I'm a jerk, I replied to my cousin Debbie off line since she originally e-mailed me off - blog (if that's the correct terminology). I wasn't sure if she wanted a response to be read by everyone.
Tom,
I know I'm just one of the losers you went to high school with, and even though we haven't kept up over the years, I know you had an impact and you will be remembered. Take care.
I also responded to my wife off-line. I 'll get to the other responses in due time.
Amy,
The internet is the greatest time waster of all time.:-) I appreciate that you are praying for my family.
Tom
Well, I don't know that this comment portends well for you Don, because the randomly selected code for me to login on this comment was (phoneticallly at least)"Dweeb Serve". :-)
I never thought you were a loser; I always enjoyed drinking a cold (or warm when pressed) beer with you, Rob and Dean. It appears you and your family are doing well; please keep in touch.
Tom
I would agree it would be cool to be Ted Williams. He was one of the best at hitting a baseball.
However, I believe it is much more important to be truly loved by the hundreds of people who really know you than "loved" by the millions of people who have never met you.
Tommy, you have no worries there. You are real. You will be remembered and always loved.
Dean
Tom,
I, like Don, am another of the losers from High School. =) But I did want to chime in that Yes, you will be remembered. To be honest I didn't know how well you would remember me! But I can tell you that your sense of humor, intelligence and wit has stuck with me over the past twenty years. Dean sent me a link to your blog, and I have spent a good deal of time reading and reflecting on all that you had to say. I think you have made and continue to make a bigger impact than you will ever know. Thanks for sharing so much of yourself through this blog!
God Bless,
Rob
"Think where man’s glory most begins and ends,
And say my glory was I had such friends."
-William Butler Yeats, "The Municipal Gallery Revisited."
No Tom. We won't forget.
Ben
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