The Worst People in the World

(Or at Least the Most Annoying)

"And that's the way it was: Thursday, January 11, 2007."

--Walter Cronkite

A few of you may know this already, but we were sued in small claims court last week relating to the sale of our house in August, 2005. They sued both Melissa and I as well as my father, who had nothing to do with the drafting or the signing of the Purchase Agreement. The couple that bought the house tried to claim that a stove was included in the deal, even though the Purchase Agreement (which they were given several days to review and were urged to have an attorney review before signing) clearly and specifically stated that a stove was excluded from the sale, and they initialed that specific part of the Agreement.

On Saturday, November 12, 2005, they arrived at our old house at noon insisting that they be let in even though we had agreed to give them possession on Sunday. We were obviously still moving at the time. (This was after we had agreed to close the transaction more than two weeks early for their convenience). We explained to them that we were still moving and after cleaning we could give them possession. They told us they didn't care that the place wasn't clean, they just needed in. (A rainstorm was approaching.) At trial, a major claim of theirs was that the place was dirty when they moved in. In fact it was so dirty, they alleged, that they were unable to move in for forty-one (41) days (no, that's not a typo), and had to pay her mother $1025.00 in rent. Right. Any of you who have been in our house know what kind of housekeeper Melissa is. Despite several claims of how filthy the place was, the best they could come up with was a $50.00 receipt from some friends in Makoquoeta, Iowa, who had to drive down because "there are no cleaning people in Des Moines, Iowa." Right. As part of their forty-nine (49)(again, not a typo) exhibits, they introduced a photo showing a small wastebasket in the 1/2 bath with a Kleenex box in it, and another photo showing that we had left the special cleaner for the Pergo floor in a closet.

The next claim was that we had torn holes in and "ruined" the orange shag rug carpeting in the basement which had been there more than 21 years, by putting holes in it. The holes were there when we moved in, right in the center of the room. They were claiming $2000 for this "damage." Right. Note: these people were in the home at least six times between signing the Purchase Agreement and closing and never once mentioned any problem with the place.

The female part of the couple than began bitching during the trial about how the cupboards were "cheap" and how she didn't like the colors in the place. Makes you wonder why they bought it in the first place. The male part of the couple kept bitching thoughout the trial that they had no attorney and "there's three attorneys over there." I kept thinking "well, you sued two of them you fucking dummy. What did you expect?"

Their case took them 2 hours and 40 minutes to put on (which the magistrates always enjoy). Our defense was 25 minutes. We don't have a decision yet, but, regardless of the outcome, these are:

The worst people in the world for Thursday, January 11, 2007.